*the scene opens with Emma, Sparc and Gonick seated in the cockpit of the Danube, a small, yet advanced spacecraft. The cockpit is about the size of a small room, and there is also a back room, roughly the size of a mid-sized conference room. Off of the back room are small quarters. More like closets with cots, actually. Edward Saganami is in the back, checking the engine. Emma is twirling a rather sharp looking blade between her fingers*
Gonick: Preflight complete. Ready with the engines, Edward?
Saganami: Yep!
Sparc: I've loaded the coordinates into the navicomputer. =
Emma: I finished sharpening my knives!
Gonick, rolling eyes: I guess we're ready to go, then. Punch it!
*cut to: HQ exterior. The Danube takes off from an exterior bay, and streaks off into warp speeds*
*scene ends*
*next scene opens after another lengthy trip at warp speeds. The Danube drops out of the hyperspace corridor, and settles into orbit over a moderately inhospitable-looking planet. Storms swirl over much of the surface, and lightning strikes are quite common. Emma, Sparc, Gonick, and Edward Saganami peer at the sensor readings.*
Saganami, sarcastically: Lovely place.
Gonick: Plan your summer home later, Saganami. Sparc, any idea where we should set down?
Sparc: The Archives were housed in a large building, but that must be rubble by now. Let's set down near the old ruins. *Sparc calls up a map, and locates a point on the surface* Here. This spot looks good.
*the Danube angles into a descent trajectory, and lands on the spot Sparc picked out.*
Gonick: Ok, grab some lasguns. From what Sparc's told me, this place used to be home to a bunch of nasty wild critters. We might need the pew pew pew. I'll be taking a pulser, of course.
Emma: What is it with you and those things, anyway?
Gonick: Miniaturized, pocket-sized mass drivers? What's not to like?
Emma: The need for ammunition.
Gonick, after a few thoughtful-looking moments: Ok, let's go!
Emma: ...
*they exit the runabout, and Gonick withdraws a small device from his pocket. He presses a button, and the craft shimmers out of sight*
Sparc, impressed: Nice.
Gonick: Just remember where we parked.
*cut to: overhead view. Gonick and his party walk towards the ruin of a once grand building. As they travel, an ominous red glow appears, as an all-too-familiar hum penetrates the silence.*
*scene ends*
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Chapter 3, Part 1
*A few days have passed, and Sparc has been immersing himself in the legends of old, in hopes of finding a weakness in the design of the ancient space station tentatively dubbed 'The Star Forge'. He reclines in the chair of the Archive Room, twirling a computer stylus between his fingers. Suddenly, he seems to have an epiphany.*
Sparc: Ah! YES!
*he sits up suddenly, too suddenly, and his chair falls backwards, with him in it*
Sparc: Waaagh!
*Sparc gets up, dusts himself off, and runs out of the room*
*cut to: half an hour later, in the common room*
Marcus: So, Sparc. You say you've found a way to destroy the Star Forge.
Sparc: Yes, I believe so.
*Sparc activates a viewscreen on the wall*
Sparc: In the ancient Rakatan empire, there were of course many different factions vying for power.
Saganami: *snort* Bureacracy. Ain't it grand?
Sparc: Well, normally no. But in this case, it might just save us all. The Rakatans who built the original Star Forge were part of the most powerful faction. And of course, such a powerful weapon ensured they stayed such. But others didn't like that notion one bit. So they built in a flaw.
Gonick, with great irony: A small thermal exhaust port, directly below the main port?
Sparc: No, actually. It's not a flaw, per se. More of a remote control.
Emma: An off switch?
Sparc: Precisely. From what I've read, it is capable of shutting down the Star Forge, and all technology created by it.
Gonick, with a tinge of annoyance: A Magical MacGuffin quest? You must be joking...
Dagobah: Wait. There's something he hasn't mentioned yet.
Sparc: That's right. According to the records I did find, the artifact, as the Star Forge was, was controlled by the Force.
Saganami: Then we're screwed. There hasn't been a Force-sensitive in milennia.
Marcus: Is there another way to control the artifact?
Sparc: No. I'm afraid it's Force or nothing.
*everyone starts yelling at this point, talking about wastes of time, how screwed they are, et cetera. Marcus cuts in with an ear-splitting whistle*
Marcus: I'm quite sure that Sparc wouldn't waste our time with useless information. He knows what happened to the last one to do that.
Sparc, with a slight involuntary shudder: Marcus is quite correct. Let me ask you all a question. If all knowledge of the Force was lost, then how would we know if people were Force-sensitive? We wouldn't. So while Saganami is correct that there are no known Force-sensitives alive, that really means nothing. It's like saying that there are no neutrinos in this room. We don't have a way of seeing them, so it's quite easy to assume they don't exist.
Emma: It sounds like we need a way to discover Force-sensitivity.
Sparc: Exactly. And I know how.
Saganami: How, then?
Sparc: Actually, 'where'. There are records of an ancient library of Force-related knowledge on a planet once known as 'Ossus'. However, the location of the planet has since been lost.
Emma: But you found it.
Sparc: It's amazing what you can accomplish while bored in a library.
*Sparc switches the viewscreen to a map*
Sparc: This is the location of Ossus. Here, at E04:23:63:22.
Marcus: Sounds like we should mount an expedition.
Sparc: I agree. I should go, and Gonick should come as well. Who knows what state the computers will be in?
Marcus: Bring Edward and Emma as well. They have areas of expertise that may prove useful.
Emma: One question, here. Not to be Jenny Raincloud here, but the Freyja is in no condition to go anywhere except drydock.
Gonick: Yes. My heart bleeds for the poor dear. Fortunately, there are other ships available. Like the Danube.
Saganmi: The runabout?
Gonick: Would you prefer a Corellian freighter? In any case, it's speedy and small, which are good attributes for this mission.
Marcus: It's settled, then. Take the Danube to Ossus. Learn about the Force. And then we can kick Mr. Guido's ass across space.
Gonick: A mission to a lost planet, to obtain forgotten knowledge, to control a MacGuffin, to defeat a great and powerful evil?
Emma: Too cliche?
Gonick: No. As an ancestor of mine once said: "It's not too hot, or too cold. It's just right".
Saganami: Ok, Goldilocks. We should leave as soon as possible. I'll prep the ship, you all gather what tools you need. We'll leave at 18:00 hours.
Mick: That's in two hours.
Marcus: Exactly. Get going! Chop chop!
*everyone hurriedly exits the room, and disperses to their duties*
*scene ends*
Sparc: Ah! YES!
*he sits up suddenly, too suddenly, and his chair falls backwards, with him in it*
Sparc: Waaagh!
*Sparc gets up, dusts himself off, and runs out of the room*
*cut to: half an hour later, in the common room*
Marcus: So, Sparc. You say you've found a way to destroy the Star Forge.
Sparc: Yes, I believe so.
*Sparc activates a viewscreen on the wall*
Sparc: In the ancient Rakatan empire, there were of course many different factions vying for power.
Saganami: *snort* Bureacracy. Ain't it grand?
Sparc: Well, normally no. But in this case, it might just save us all. The Rakatans who built the original Star Forge were part of the most powerful faction. And of course, such a powerful weapon ensured they stayed such. But others didn't like that notion one bit. So they built in a flaw.
Gonick, with great irony: A small thermal exhaust port, directly below the main port?
Sparc: No, actually. It's not a flaw, per se. More of a remote control.
Emma: An off switch?
Sparc: Precisely. From what I've read, it is capable of shutting down the Star Forge, and all technology created by it.
Gonick, with a tinge of annoyance: A Magical MacGuffin quest? You must be joking...
Dagobah: Wait. There's something he hasn't mentioned yet.
Sparc: That's right. According to the records I did find, the artifact, as the Star Forge was, was controlled by the Force.
Saganami: Then we're screwed. There hasn't been a Force-sensitive in milennia.
Marcus: Is there another way to control the artifact?
Sparc: No. I'm afraid it's Force or nothing.
*everyone starts yelling at this point, talking about wastes of time, how screwed they are, et cetera. Marcus cuts in with an ear-splitting whistle*
Marcus: I'm quite sure that Sparc wouldn't waste our time with useless information. He knows what happened to the last one to do that.
Sparc, with a slight involuntary shudder: Marcus is quite correct. Let me ask you all a question. If all knowledge of the Force was lost, then how would we know if people were Force-sensitive? We wouldn't. So while Saganami is correct that there are no known Force-sensitives alive, that really means nothing. It's like saying that there are no neutrinos in this room. We don't have a way of seeing them, so it's quite easy to assume they don't exist.
Emma: It sounds like we need a way to discover Force-sensitivity.
Sparc: Exactly. And I know how.
Saganami: How, then?
Sparc: Actually, 'where'. There are records of an ancient library of Force-related knowledge on a planet once known as 'Ossus'. However, the location of the planet has since been lost.
Emma: But you found it.
Sparc: It's amazing what you can accomplish while bored in a library.
*Sparc switches the viewscreen to a map*
Sparc: This is the location of Ossus. Here, at E04:23:63:22.
Marcus: Sounds like we should mount an expedition.
Sparc: I agree. I should go, and Gonick should come as well. Who knows what state the computers will be in?
Marcus: Bring Edward and Emma as well. They have areas of expertise that may prove useful.
Emma: One question, here. Not to be Jenny Raincloud here, but the Freyja is in no condition to go anywhere except drydock.
Gonick: Yes. My heart bleeds for the poor dear. Fortunately, there are other ships available. Like the Danube.
Saganmi: The runabout?
Gonick: Would you prefer a Corellian freighter? In any case, it's speedy and small, which are good attributes for this mission.
Marcus: It's settled, then. Take the Danube to Ossus. Learn about the Force. And then we can kick Mr. Guido's ass across space.
Gonick: A mission to a lost planet, to obtain forgotten knowledge, to control a MacGuffin, to defeat a great and powerful evil?
Emma: Too cliche?
Gonick: No. As an ancestor of mine once said: "It's not too hot, or too cold. It's just right".
Saganami: Ok, Goldilocks. We should leave as soon as possible. I'll prep the ship, you all gather what tools you need. We'll leave at 18:00 hours.
Mick: That's in two hours.
Marcus: Exactly. Get going! Chop chop!
*everyone hurriedly exits the room, and disperses to their duties*
*scene ends*
Chapter 2 Recap
Well? How's that for exposition? Mr. Guido as Kefka Palazzo, with a Star Forge. Will this meant the end of the wolves? Hah! Balls no. At least not right away. Anyways, I'll be making some minor edits to the earlier chapters, in the form of footnotes. They'll be like 'recommended reading' footnotes in other works, but in this case they'll recommend soundtracks to listen to along with. Every epic story needs a soundtrack, no? Anyway, I'm quite aware that not everybody has the expansive and diverse music collection that I do, so I'll include Rapidshare links in the next edit to this post. I'll get to it, then.
EDIT 1: Chapter 1 OST is up for download here: http://rapidshare.com/files/168530121/TNT_Chapter_One_OST.zip
EDIT 2: And now Chapter 2 OST is up. Have a link: http://rapidshare.com/files/168534622/TNT_Chapter_Two_OST.zip
EDIT 1: Chapter 1 OST is up for download here: http://rapidshare.com/files/168530121/TNT_Chapter_One_OST.zip
EDIT 2: And now Chapter 2 OST is up. Have a link: http://rapidshare.com/files/168534622/TNT_Chapter_Two_OST.zip
Monday, November 24, 2008
Chapter 2, Part 4
*the scene opens in the Timberwolf Imperial Archive Room, a vast, spherical room with walls housing blinking lights. A bridge leads from the door to a console in the center. Basically, think Cerebro from the X-Men movie combined with the Jedi Archives from Attack of the Clones. Gonick, Edward Saganami, Sparc, and Emma are standing on the center platform. Sparc is narrating while operating controls on the console. As he speaks, various images are projected in, on, and around the room.*
Sparc: According to ancient myth, this part of our universe was part of a vast interstellar empire ruled by a race known as the Rakata many eons ago. Almost as long ago, their empire collapsed.
Gonick: How?
Sparc: Nobody's sure. Keep in mind, records from that period are practically non-existent. Well, actually they are non-existent. All we have to go on these days are records of records, copies of copies. The bottom line is, there's nothing concrete about these records.
Gonick: A shame, but there is little we can do about it. Please continue.
Sparc: Right. According to what records we do have, at the height of their power, they built a massive space station, which harnessed the power of their star, and converted it into weapons, ships, even battle robots. Unfortunately, their power and influence began to decline, even to a point where they could no longer control their own technology. Their civilization collapsed in on itself, and the only survivors retreated to their homeworld, where they bombed themselves almost into extinction. Over the next few millennia, they recovered as well as they could, but eventually they died out under unknown circumstances.
Saganami, wiggling fingers: Mysteeerious.
Sparc: Yes, quite. But, also according to records, before that happened, a small group of people met the Rakatans on their homeworld, recovered the ancient schematics, and destroyed the station. Many, many years later (we're talking more eons here), the schematics had been distributed throughout various databases. It has been copied, pasted, lost, found, crystallized, memorized, buried in peat moss for several months, and one copy was reportedly eaten by the Bugblatter Beast of Traal. However, due to the immense resources needed to construct such a station, nobody was able to build one.
Gonick: Until now.
Sparc: Yeah, except no. Our scans show that the station we encountered in the Lehon sector was at least two thousand years old. Back then, this part of the universe was in total anarchy. Or so we thought.
Emma: How do you mean?
Sparc: Well, think about it. The ancient Rakata could only build one at the height of their empire. No one has built one since. As far as we know, only two have ever been built. The long and short of it is, it would be impossible for one small group, at war with all others, to create a station of this sort. They just wouldn't have the resources. There must have been some kind of cohesive organization that we were previously unaware of.
Saganami: Interesting.
Gonick: Yeah, totally. Those ancients had the best weapons. Dreadnoughts. Death Stars. Giant star factories. I just wish they'd learn to use the delete key...
Sparc: Heh, it would mean a lot fewer big bad unka-splats in this time.
Gonick: So let me recap to see if I've got this. Ancient aliens build a giant factory station. Ancient aliens die out. Ancient humans get ancient alien's blueprints. Ancient humans hide ancient alien blueprints. Blueprints play hide and seek for a few eons. Newer ancient (how did you put it?) big bad unka-splats find it, and build a doom factory. Mr. Guido finds said doom station. Mr. Guido is captured, but escapes to his doom station. Mr. Guido kicks our asses across space.
Sparc: Sounds accurate.
Gonick: One thing still bothers me, though.
Sparc: Hmm?
Gonick: If these big bad- ok, I am not saying that. Let's call them 'Forerunners'. If these Forerunners had resources rivaling the ancient Rakata, at the height of their power, where did they go? Why have we never heard of them? Why'd they leave their 'doom factory'? (By the way, we're going to need a better name for that, too) All of these unknowns worry me. But I suppose we do need to focus on the task at hand. How was the original station destroyed?
Sparc: The 'Rakatan's Legacy'?
Gonick: I know you made that name up.
Sparc: Nuts. Anyway, it was destroyed by the force of many cannons.
Gonick: Some guys came and blew it up with overwhelming pew pew pew? No impossible targets? No ventilation shafts? No womp rats in Beggar's canyon? They just shot at it until it blew up?
Sparc: You sound surprised.
Gonick: Well, it's never that easy.
Sparc: Who mentioned 'easy'? With the full force of our fleet, we couldn't scratch it. Instead, we lost half our fleet and had to run.
Saganami: So, we've got to take on the entire fleet of Mr. Guido, blow up his 'Star Forge', and rid the universe of his evil, once and for all?
Sparc: Yeppers.
Gonick: Sounds like fun!
*Gonick, Sparc, Edward Saganami, and Emma walk towards the door. Sparc pauses at the threshold.*
Sparc, thoughtfully: 'Star Forge', huh. I like that....
*Sparc leaves the room, and the scene ends*
Audio Tour (Part 4)
Sparc: According to ancient myth, this part of our universe was part of a vast interstellar empire ruled by a race known as the Rakata many eons ago. Almost as long ago, their empire collapsed.
Gonick: How?
Sparc: Nobody's sure. Keep in mind, records from that period are practically non-existent. Well, actually they are non-existent. All we have to go on these days are records of records, copies of copies. The bottom line is, there's nothing concrete about these records.
Gonick: A shame, but there is little we can do about it. Please continue.
Sparc: Right. According to what records we do have, at the height of their power, they built a massive space station, which harnessed the power of their star, and converted it into weapons, ships, even battle robots. Unfortunately, their power and influence began to decline, even to a point where they could no longer control their own technology. Their civilization collapsed in on itself, and the only survivors retreated to their homeworld, where they bombed themselves almost into extinction. Over the next few millennia, they recovered as well as they could, but eventually they died out under unknown circumstances.
Saganami, wiggling fingers: Mysteeerious.
Sparc: Yes, quite. But, also according to records, before that happened, a small group of people met the Rakatans on their homeworld, recovered the ancient schematics, and destroyed the station. Many, many years later (we're talking more eons here), the schematics had been distributed throughout various databases. It has been copied, pasted, lost, found, crystallized, memorized, buried in peat moss for several months, and one copy was reportedly eaten by the Bugblatter Beast of Traal. However, due to the immense resources needed to construct such a station, nobody was able to build one.
Gonick: Until now.
Sparc: Yeah, except no. Our scans show that the station we encountered in the Lehon sector was at least two thousand years old. Back then, this part of the universe was in total anarchy. Or so we thought.
Emma: How do you mean?
Sparc: Well, think about it. The ancient Rakata could only build one at the height of their empire. No one has built one since. As far as we know, only two have ever been built. The long and short of it is, it would be impossible for one small group, at war with all others, to create a station of this sort. They just wouldn't have the resources. There must have been some kind of cohesive organization that we were previously unaware of.
Saganami: Interesting.
Gonick: Yeah, totally. Those ancients had the best weapons. Dreadnoughts. Death Stars. Giant star factories. I just wish they'd learn to use the delete key...
Sparc: Heh, it would mean a lot fewer big bad unka-splats in this time.
Gonick: So let me recap to see if I've got this. Ancient aliens build a giant factory station. Ancient aliens die out. Ancient humans get ancient alien's blueprints. Ancient humans hide ancient alien blueprints. Blueprints play hide and seek for a few eons. Newer ancient (how did you put it?) big bad unka-splats find it, and build a doom factory. Mr. Guido finds said doom station. Mr. Guido is captured, but escapes to his doom station. Mr. Guido kicks our asses across space.
Sparc: Sounds accurate.
Gonick: One thing still bothers me, though.
Sparc: Hmm?
Gonick: If these big bad- ok, I am not saying that. Let's call them 'Forerunners'. If these Forerunners had resources rivaling the ancient Rakata, at the height of their power, where did they go? Why have we never heard of them? Why'd they leave their 'doom factory'? (By the way, we're going to need a better name for that, too) All of these unknowns worry me. But I suppose we do need to focus on the task at hand. How was the original station destroyed?
Sparc: The 'Rakatan's Legacy'?
Gonick: I know you made that name up.
Sparc: Nuts. Anyway, it was destroyed by the force of many cannons.
Gonick: Some guys came and blew it up with overwhelming pew pew pew? No impossible targets? No ventilation shafts? No womp rats in Beggar's canyon? They just shot at it until it blew up?
Sparc: You sound surprised.
Gonick: Well, it's never that easy.
Sparc: Who mentioned 'easy'? With the full force of our fleet, we couldn't scratch it. Instead, we lost half our fleet and had to run.
Saganami: So, we've got to take on the entire fleet of Mr. Guido, blow up his 'Star Forge', and rid the universe of his evil, once and for all?
Sparc: Yeppers.
Gonick: Sounds like fun!
*Gonick, Sparc, Edward Saganami, and Emma walk towards the door. Sparc pauses at the threshold.*
Sparc, thoughtfully: 'Star Forge', huh. I like that....
*Sparc leaves the room, and the scene ends*
Audio Tour (Part 4)
Saturday, November 22, 2008
Chapter 2, Part 3
*the scene opens in the common room of TNT HQ. Many officers are sitting, looking pensive. Morranr has joined them, and is sitting as well. Gonick is pacing furiously*
Gonick: This sucks. It really SUCKS. We're talking epic, unprecedented levels of suckitude here.
Morranr: We agree, Gonick. But fuming does us little good, and we need your brain here.
Emma, dripping almost palpably with sarcasm: Yeah, 'Chief Strategist, Gadget Master, and Epic Level Sandwichcrafter'. Think us up a doozy.
Marcus: Emma, that doesn-
Gonick, interrupting furiously: DAMMIT EMMA! I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO! WE HAVE A FLEET THAT SHOULDN'T EXIST, A SPACE STATION THAT WE'VE NEVER HEARD OF, ALL SEEMINGLY UNDER THE CONTROL OF OUR FAVORITE LOCAL PAIN IN THE ASS, WHO ADDED TO THAT PAIN BY KICKING OURS, AND YOU'RE USING MY TITLES SARCASTICALLY? HERE'S A TITLE FOR YOU: EPIC PIECE OF SUCK AND FAIL. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO LOST HIM IN THE FIRST PLACE, WELL DONE THAT.
Emma, initially taken aback, but now with a rising fury to match that of Gonick: WELL LA DE DAH, MISTER PERFECT. I MAY HAVE LOST ONE ENEMY, BUT AT LEAST I DIDN'T LOSE HALF OUR DAMNED FLEET
*Marcus speaks a word. No one could quite recall what it was afterwards, even Gonick and Emma, who seemed to be the only ones to hear it. Whatever it was, they clutched their ears and fell over onto couches*
Marcus: There, that's better.
Saganami: Um.. are they okay? What did you do...?
Marcus: They'll be fine. They should wake up in ten minutes or so, much calmer and maybe under the impression that when someone says the word 'debris', or the word 'derb', their thumbs have become delicious caramel. As for the 'how', let's just say that there are things Emperors know that others do not.
Saganami: That's... moderately frightening. But 'derbs'?
Dagobah: Caramel?
Marcus: Well they needed calming, and I needed practice. I did say 'maybe' under the impression. My technique is rusty.
Saganami: Ok then... *sits a bit further from Marcus* So, what do we do about the huge fleet and station?
Morranr: Destroy them.
Saganami: I was looking for something maybe a tad more specific?
Marcus: Well since we've never seen anything like the station OR the ships, beyond the fact that some of the classes were vaguely familiar, finding out its origin may be helpful.
Sparc: I was looking over the sensor logs from the Lehon Incident.
Saganami: Where did you come from?
Sparc: What do you mean? I've been here the whole time. And isn't is usually Gonick who points these things out?
Saganami: Well, he is kind of unconscious, so I thought I'd fill in this time.
Sparc: Fair enough. Anyway, it occurred to me that I had seen something like the station before.
Mad Mick: Oh? Um, WHERE?
Sparc: In our Imperial databanks, of course. I read them for fun sometimes.
All: *blank stares*
Sparc: Well I am the Imperial Chronicler, after all... Anyways, the station bore a startling resemblance to one mentioned in an ancient text. The station was called the 'Rakatan's Legacy'. It was supposed to be able to be able to convert resources into ships at an alarmingly fast rate.
Mick: As I recall, it was also supposed to be only legendary.
All: *more blank stares*
Mick: Yes, I have read a history book. Try not to die from shock.
Sparc: Mick is correct, though. At least, he would have been yesterday. Judging by the fleet we face, as well as the station itself, I would have to say that the Rakatan's Legacy is no longer merely the stuff of legend.
Gonick, rubbing forehead: Raking's on the who now?
Sparc: *sarcastically* 'morning Sunshine. We've figured out what that station is.
Dagobah: And we've figured out where the fleet came from!
Emma, still a bit bleary-eyed: But we were only out for *grabs Gonick's arm and checks his wristwatch* ten minutes!
Marcus: Shouldn't have been napping. Anyway, Sparc, fill them in. Everyone else, focus on ship production. Looks like we're at war again!
Mick: And think of all the debris!
*everyone looks at Emma and Gonick expectantly, but nothing happens*
Emma and Gonick, as chorus: What?
Mick: Nothing.
Sparc: Not a thing.
Dagobah: Nope.
Marcus: Dismissed!
*everyone files out of the room, save Gonick, who sucks his thumb*
Gonick, surprised: Why did I just do that?
*Gonick leaves the room, shaking his head in confusion*
*scene ends*
Audio Tour (Part 3)
Gonick: This sucks. It really SUCKS. We're talking epic, unprecedented levels of suckitude here.
Morranr: We agree, Gonick. But fuming does us little good, and we need your brain here.
Emma, dripping almost palpably with sarcasm: Yeah, 'Chief Strategist, Gadget Master, and Epic Level Sandwichcrafter'. Think us up a doozy.
Marcus: Emma, that doesn-
Gonick, interrupting furiously: DAMMIT EMMA! I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO! WE HAVE A FLEET THAT SHOULDN'T EXIST, A SPACE STATION THAT WE'VE NEVER HEARD OF, ALL SEEMINGLY UNDER THE CONTROL OF OUR FAVORITE LOCAL PAIN IN THE ASS, WHO ADDED TO THAT PAIN BY KICKING OURS, AND YOU'RE USING MY TITLES SARCASTICALLY? HERE'S A TITLE FOR YOU: EPIC PIECE OF SUCK AND FAIL. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO LOST HIM IN THE FIRST PLACE, WELL DONE THAT.
Emma, initially taken aback, but now with a rising fury to match that of Gonick: WELL LA DE DAH, MISTER PERFECT. I MAY HAVE LOST ONE ENEMY, BUT AT LEAST I DIDN'T LOSE HALF OUR DAMNED FLEET
*Marcus speaks a word. No one could quite recall what it was afterwards, even Gonick and Emma, who seemed to be the only ones to hear it. Whatever it was, they clutched their ears and fell over onto couches*
Marcus: There, that's better.
Saganami: Um.. are they okay? What did you do...?
Marcus: They'll be fine. They should wake up in ten minutes or so, much calmer and maybe under the impression that when someone says the word 'debris', or the word 'derb', their thumbs have become delicious caramel. As for the 'how', let's just say that there are things Emperors know that others do not.
Saganami: That's... moderately frightening. But 'derbs'?
Dagobah: Caramel?
Marcus: Well they needed calming, and I needed practice. I did say 'maybe' under the impression. My technique is rusty.
Saganami: Ok then... *sits a bit further from Marcus* So, what do we do about the huge fleet and station?
Morranr: Destroy them.
Saganami: I was looking for something maybe a tad more specific?
Marcus: Well since we've never seen anything like the station OR the ships, beyond the fact that some of the classes were vaguely familiar, finding out its origin may be helpful.
Sparc: I was looking over the sensor logs from the Lehon Incident.
Saganami: Where did you come from?
Sparc: What do you mean? I've been here the whole time. And isn't is usually Gonick who points these things out?
Saganami: Well, he is kind of unconscious, so I thought I'd fill in this time.
Sparc: Fair enough. Anyway, it occurred to me that I had seen something like the station before.
Mad Mick: Oh? Um, WHERE?
Sparc: In our Imperial databanks, of course. I read them for fun sometimes.
All: *blank stares*
Sparc: Well I am the Imperial Chronicler, after all... Anyways, the station bore a startling resemblance to one mentioned in an ancient text. The station was called the 'Rakatan's Legacy'. It was supposed to be able to be able to convert resources into ships at an alarmingly fast rate.
Mick: As I recall, it was also supposed to be only legendary.
All: *more blank stares*
Mick: Yes, I have read a history book. Try not to die from shock.
Sparc: Mick is correct, though. At least, he would have been yesterday. Judging by the fleet we face, as well as the station itself, I would have to say that the Rakatan's Legacy is no longer merely the stuff of legend.
Gonick, rubbing forehead: Raking's on the who now?
Sparc: *sarcastically* 'morning Sunshine. We've figured out what that station is.
Dagobah: And we've figured out where the fleet came from!
Emma, still a bit bleary-eyed: But we were only out for *grabs Gonick's arm and checks his wristwatch* ten minutes!
Marcus: Shouldn't have been napping. Anyway, Sparc, fill them in. Everyone else, focus on ship production. Looks like we're at war again!
Mick: And think of all the debris!
*everyone looks at Emma and Gonick expectantly, but nothing happens*
Emma and Gonick, as chorus: What?
Mick: Nothing.
Sparc: Not a thing.
Dagobah: Nope.
Marcus: Dismissed!
*everyone files out of the room, save Gonick, who sucks his thumb*
Gonick, surprised: Why did I just do that?
*Gonick leaves the room, shaking his head in confusion*
*scene ends*
Audio Tour (Part 3)
Chapter 2, Part 2
Start Audio Tour (Part 1-A)
*the scene opens as the fleet of the Neo Timberwolf Empire exits hyperspace near a rather unassuming planet. Or rather, near a very large space station in orbit of said planet Cut to: the Freyja bridge*
Saganami, in awe: Look at the size of that thing! It must be an error in the sensors!
Emma, with a quiet conviction: That's no error. That's a space station.
Gonick, rolling his eyes in spite of everything: Y'know, I just can't bring myself to be as concerned about the space station as you all seem to be. What worries me is that rather large fleet in proximity of the station, and therefore, us as well.
*the viewscreen shimmers to life, and the face of Emperor Marcus appears, looking moderately scared*
Marcus: GONICK! WHAT THE FSCK IS THAT THING?
Gonick: I didn't know you could actually pronounce that....
Marcus: *glare*
Gonick: Geez, if looks could kill... ANYdoodles, it looks to be a fleet of quite considerable size, as well as a large space station.
Emma, quietly: 'Large'? It's enormous....
Marcus, either not noticing or not caring: Well we can see that. What should we do about it?
Gonick: Well we've already raised shields and armed weapons, seeing as that's an automated process upon scanning unknown ships. The odd thing is, they don't seem to be moving.
Marcus: That is odd...
Gonick: Yeah. Especially since it seems likely that these weapons are why Mr. Guido came here.
Marcus: Well if they're inactive, and we're still here, I'd have to say that the best move would be to derb them. Like, now.
Gonick: I'd have to agree. Emma? If you would man- er - person the weapons console?
Emma, with a disconcerting eagerness: My pleasure.
Gonick: I'd say we should hit the fleet first, and then the station, because the fleet is mobile, and the station is, well, stationary.
Marcus: Agreed. Wolfpack! Open fire!
Saganami: Wait!
Gonick, visibly annoyed: Saggy, this is my ship. You don't give orders here....
Saganami: According to these readings, the ships are only inactive until they recieve a signal. I thought the signal would come from the station, or possibly the planet. But the signal is weapons fire!
Marcus: So basically, we start shooting, and they're not inactive anymore.
Gonick: Plus, that space station is still there.
Saganami: That fleet is at least twice the size of ours. And I'm scanning a few leviathans in the mix as well. I think we may wish to hold off until we can at least call for backup.
Gonick: I could call the Agency.
Marcus: Do it.
Gonick, looking apprehensive: Oh, not good.
All: What?
Gonick: My comms are jammed! And they weren't a minute ago!
Start Audio Tour (Part 2-B) here
Emma: The fleet! It's-
*Emma is cut off as the Freyja is shaken by weapons fire*
Emma: Attacking. But y'all figured that out....
Saganami: We should leave. There's no way we can win this.
Dagobah, over the comms: Retreat?
Saganami: That or get our asses kicked. I don't like it any more than you do, but it's that or get derbed.
Gonick: He who fights and runs away?
Marcus, bitterly: Lives to fight another day. Alright, wolves! Withdraw, for now...
*The comms activate, and an all too familiar voice comes through*
Mr. Guido: Now who are the fools? Run away, little wolves! Flee to your little forest glade ponds! The Guido is back! Uweheeeheee!
*the scene ends as the pack reenters hyperspace, with the slower ships being hit and destroyed before they can make it.*
*the scene opens as the fleet of the Neo Timberwolf Empire exits hyperspace near a rather unassuming planet. Or rather, near a very large space station in orbit of said planet Cut to: the Freyja bridge*
Saganami, in awe: Look at the size of that thing! It must be an error in the sensors!
Emma, with a quiet conviction: That's no error. That's a space station.
Gonick, rolling his eyes in spite of everything: Y'know, I just can't bring myself to be as concerned about the space station as you all seem to be. What worries me is that rather large fleet in proximity of the station, and therefore, us as well.
*the viewscreen shimmers to life, and the face of Emperor Marcus appears, looking moderately scared*
Marcus: GONICK! WHAT THE FSCK IS THAT THING?
Gonick: I didn't know you could actually pronounce that....
Marcus: *glare*
Gonick: Geez, if looks could kill... ANYdoodles, it looks to be a fleet of quite considerable size, as well as a large space station.
Emma, quietly: 'Large'? It's enormous....
Marcus, either not noticing or not caring: Well we can see that. What should we do about it?
Gonick: Well we've already raised shields and armed weapons, seeing as that's an automated process upon scanning unknown ships. The odd thing is, they don't seem to be moving.
Marcus: That is odd...
Gonick: Yeah. Especially since it seems likely that these weapons are why Mr. Guido came here.
Marcus: Well if they're inactive, and we're still here, I'd have to say that the best move would be to derb them. Like, now.
Gonick: I'd have to agree. Emma? If you would man- er - person the weapons console?
Emma, with a disconcerting eagerness: My pleasure.
Gonick: I'd say we should hit the fleet first, and then the station, because the fleet is mobile, and the station is, well, stationary.
Marcus: Agreed. Wolfpack! Open fire!
Saganami: Wait!
Gonick, visibly annoyed: Saggy, this is my ship. You don't give orders here....
Saganami: According to these readings, the ships are only inactive until they recieve a signal. I thought the signal would come from the station, or possibly the planet. But the signal is weapons fire!
Marcus: So basically, we start shooting, and they're not inactive anymore.
Gonick: Plus, that space station is still there.
Saganami: That fleet is at least twice the size of ours. And I'm scanning a few leviathans in the mix as well. I think we may wish to hold off until we can at least call for backup.
Gonick: I could call the Agency.
Marcus: Do it.
Gonick, looking apprehensive: Oh, not good.
All: What?
Gonick: My comms are jammed! And they weren't a minute ago!
Start Audio Tour (Part 2-B) here
Emma: The fleet! It's-
*Emma is cut off as the Freyja is shaken by weapons fire*
Emma: Attacking. But y'all figured that out....
Saganami: We should leave. There's no way we can win this.
Dagobah, over the comms: Retreat?
Saganami: That or get our asses kicked. I don't like it any more than you do, but it's that or get derbed.
Gonick: He who fights and runs away?
Marcus, bitterly: Lives to fight another day. Alright, wolves! Withdraw, for now...
*The comms activate, and an all too familiar voice comes through*
Mr. Guido: Now who are the fools? Run away, little wolves! Flee to your little forest glade ponds! The Guido is back! Uweheeeheee!
*the scene ends as the pack reenters hyperspace, with the slower ships being hit and destroyed before they can make it.*
Sunday, November 16, 2008
Chapter 2, Part 1
*the Wolfpack of TNT is on course for the Lehon sector, where they have tracked Mr. Guido to. Unfortunately, this is a rather long trip, taking about 50 hours. The scene opens on the bridge of the Freyja, where Gonick has returned to his Game Boy, and Emma and Edward Saganami are just kind of sitting*
Gonick, looking up from his diminutive screen: Hey, has it occurred to anyone that it's kind of silly to send an entire fleet, with our entire officer compliment, to recapture one prisoner with one ship?
Emma: Nope.
Saganami: Uh uh.
Gonick: ......
*several hours later*
Gonick: YES! Take that, Mother Brain!
Emma: You got another one of those anywhere?
Gonick: Here, take this one. *tosses Emma the Game Boy* I need sleep anyway. Saganami, keep an eye on stuff until I get back. Two, if you can spare them.
*several hours later*
Emma: Gaah! Fracking Metroids... Ahh! Them's mah brainmeats! Rrrrr....
Gonick, stepping out of turbolift: Emma, please don't stab my Game Boy. It's an antique.
Emma: Oh please. I know you build these in that lab of yours at HQ.
Gonick: Yes. Using an antique diagram. Now you two get to sleep. And give me that Game Boy. I have a word or two to give to Kefka.
Saganami: And by 'word', you mean...
Gonick: Many stabs with orialchons, and burns with spells?
Saganami: Thought so.
*Emma and Saganami exit via the turbolift*
Gonick, to nobody in particular: I love traveling by montage.
*several hours later, in a corridor on the Freyja*
*Edward Saganami, Gonick, several androids, a policeman with a billy club, and a grizzly bear are chasing each other in and out of the doors in the hallway. 'Yakety Sax' by Boots Randolph plays over the internal comms*
Emma, over the comms: TURN THAT DOWN! I need my beauty sleep!
Gonick: And how!
Emma: I heard that!
Gonick: Eep!
*Emma steps out of a turbolift, brandishing a frightening looking knife*
Gonick: Computer, resume program Benny Hill Alpha! Saganami? RUN!
*yet more hours later*
*Gonick, Emma, and Saganami are on the bridge*
Gonick: Does anyone remember the last 24 hours? Coz I can-
Emma: Approaching destination.
Marcus, over the comms: Ready, Gonick?
Gonick: As I'll ever be. Drop the fleet out of warp!
*scene ends*
Audio Tour (Part 1)
Gonick, looking up from his diminutive screen: Hey, has it occurred to anyone that it's kind of silly to send an entire fleet, with our entire officer compliment, to recapture one prisoner with one ship?
Emma: Nope.
Saganami: Uh uh.
Gonick: ......
*several hours later*
Gonick: YES! Take that, Mother Brain!
Emma: You got another one of those anywhere?
Gonick: Here, take this one. *tosses Emma the Game Boy* I need sleep anyway. Saganami, keep an eye on stuff until I get back. Two, if you can spare them.
*several hours later*
Emma: Gaah! Fracking Metroids... Ahh! Them's mah brainmeats! Rrrrr....
Gonick, stepping out of turbolift: Emma, please don't stab my Game Boy. It's an antique.
Emma: Oh please. I know you build these in that lab of yours at HQ.
Gonick: Yes. Using an antique diagram. Now you two get to sleep. And give me that Game Boy. I have a word or two to give to Kefka.
Saganami: And by 'word', you mean...
Gonick: Many stabs with orialchons, and burns with spells?
Saganami: Thought so.
*Emma and Saganami exit via the turbolift*
Gonick, to nobody in particular: I love traveling by montage.
*several hours later, in a corridor on the Freyja*
*Edward Saganami, Gonick, several androids, a policeman with a billy club, and a grizzly bear are chasing each other in and out of the doors in the hallway. 'Yakety Sax' by Boots Randolph plays over the internal comms*
Emma, over the comms: TURN THAT DOWN! I need my beauty sleep!
Gonick: And how!
Emma: I heard that!
Gonick: Eep!
*Emma steps out of a turbolift, brandishing a frightening looking knife*
Gonick: Computer, resume program Benny Hill Alpha! Saganami? RUN!
*yet more hours later*
*Gonick, Emma, and Saganami are on the bridge*
Gonick: Does anyone remember the last 24 hours? Coz I can-
Emma: Approaching destination.
Marcus, over the comms: Ready, Gonick?
Gonick: As I'll ever be. Drop the fleet out of warp!
*scene ends*
Audio Tour (Part 1)
Chapter 1 Recap
So, I suppose the scene is set now. Feel free to play that track from the Final Fantasy VIII soundtrack. If you, uh, want. Anyway, the elusive Mr. Guido has slipped out of his seemingly certain death, and has managed to escape the claws of the Neo Timberwolves. He stole a ship, and traveled to thr Lehon sector of E02, one of the older galaxies in the known universe. Gonick, Emma, and Edward Saganami have taken Gonick's battleship (which has been customized to a rather uncanny degree, yes? I guess it was due to all the stakeout missions in the Care Bear wars)and left the terribly cliche space station the Timberwolves use as a headquarters, and travelled after him. They tracked their stolen corvette to Nausithous, a planet owned by an old friend of Gonick's, who has offered assistance. Gonick has contacted the Timberwolf Pack, who after a brief sitrep, have taken off towards the Lehon sector in order to re-capture Mr. Guido. For honor, for victory, but most importantly, for lime flavored Tostitos, this is the continuing adventures of The Neo Timberwolves.
Audio Tour (Recap)
Audio Tour (Recap)
Part 7
*a few hours have passed, and the human members of the Freyja crew are sitting around somewhat listlessly. Gonick is lounging in the captain's chair, playing a portable game system, and Edward Saganami and Princess Emma are playing catch with a plastic apple. A notification beep sounds from one of the consoles.*
Gonick, sitting up: Oooh! They're here!
Emma: About goddamn time.
Saganami: Not every ship has the speed of the Freyja, you know.
Emma, muttering: I don't see why frickin' not...
*another sound emanates from a console, sounding like the classic 'ooooweeeeeooooo' from US Navy ships and USS Enterprises alike*
Gonick: Communication onscreen.
Edward, aside to Emma: Are we sure he's sane?
Emma, aside to Edward: We're fairly sure he's not
Marcus, on viewer: Gonick! I hear you figured out where Mr. Guido's gone!
Gonick: That's right, oh captain my captain! It's one of his old strongholds, thataway.
Marcus: Pointing doesn't do much for me, Gonick. Just upload the coordinates.
Gonick: Sure thing. Looks to be in E02.
Marcus: An old galaxy. Wonder what he saw there in the first place?
Gonick: Let's find out?
Marcus: Good plan. *pulls old-style microphone down from ceiling* All ships! Set course for the Lehon sector of E02. Best possible speed!
Emma, to Saganami: Do we have anyone sane in our upper leadership?
Saganami, to Emma: Asks the woman with more knives than a Japanese steakhouse on her person.
Emma: *glare*
*cut to: Nausithous orbit. The Timberwolf fleet blots out the sun with its numbers. Suddenly, the sunlight reappears as the fleet engages its warp drives, and disappears into hyperspace*
*scene ends*
Audio Tour (Part 7)
Gonick, sitting up: Oooh! They're here!
Emma: About goddamn time.
Saganami: Not every ship has the speed of the Freyja, you know.
Emma, muttering: I don't see why frickin' not...
*another sound emanates from a console, sounding like the classic 'ooooweeeeeooooo' from US Navy ships and USS Enterprises alike*
Gonick: Communication onscreen.
Edward, aside to Emma: Are we sure he's sane?
Emma, aside to Edward: We're fairly sure he's not
Marcus, on viewer: Gonick! I hear you figured out where Mr. Guido's gone!
Gonick: That's right, oh captain my captain! It's one of his old strongholds, thataway.
Marcus: Pointing doesn't do much for me, Gonick. Just upload the coordinates.
Gonick: Sure thing. Looks to be in E02.
Marcus: An old galaxy. Wonder what he saw there in the first place?
Gonick: Let's find out?
Marcus: Good plan. *pulls old-style microphone down from ceiling* All ships! Set course for the Lehon sector of E02. Best possible speed!
Emma, to Saganami: Do we have anyone sane in our upper leadership?
Saganami, to Emma: Asks the woman with more knives than a Japanese steakhouse on her person.
Emma: *glare*
*cut to: Nausithous orbit. The Timberwolf fleet blots out the sun with its numbers. Suddenly, the sunlight reappears as the fleet engages its warp drives, and disappears into hyperspace*
*scene ends*
Audio Tour (Part 7)
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Part 6
*the scene opens on the bridge of the Freyja, as Gonick's personal battleship has been named. It's an odd tradition, from older times, as most ships in the Wolfpack have alphanumeric designations, but some traditions die hard. Gonick is busily puttering at one of the workstations, and does not notice Emma and Edward stepping on the bridge.*
Emma, loudly: Hey, Gonick!
Gonick, after jumping about three feet into the upper bulkhead: God damn, Emma! Don't sneak up on people like that! It's not nice....
Emma: Noted. So are we ready to go?
Gonick: Yes, everything seems to be ready. We'll depart at 0515.
Saganami: I understand we're not using the jump gate?
Gonick: That's right. In order to follow a trail, it's often counterproductive to take large jumps forwards.
Saganami: Makes sense. One other thing, though. Do we HAVE to have all of these androids around?
Gonick: Unless you have a better way to man a ship this size with three people, yes we do. What's the problem, anyways? They're not sentient, they barely have features.
Saganami, muttering: That IS the problem....
Emma: Get over it, Eddie. Hey, it's 0515.
Gonick: Ok. Here we go! Allons-y!
Emma, to Saganami: He gives commands in French?
Saganami, to Emma: He gives commands however he feels like. It is his ship, and his tweaks.
Emma: Even so... French?
Saganami: *shrug*
*about an hour or so later*
Gonick: The long range sensors have picked up the trail. It's actually quite short.
Saganami: Seems Guido's about as smart as we hive him credit for.
Gonick: Hmm, indeed. I almost wondered if he found our crumbs. Almost. Anyway, the trail would seem to lead to Nausithous.
Emma: I still can't figure out how you say that.
Gonick: It helps to gargle a bit while speaking. We'll be there in about an hour, so sit tight, and play Asteroids or something.
Saganami: Why am I not surprised that you programmed a video game database into this ship?
Gonick: Because you know me.
*one hour, five minutes, thirty five seconds, and several hundred asteroids later*
Gonick: Here we are! The planet Nausithous.
Emma: Great. Another ecumenopolis. Those never get old...
Gonick, ignoring Emma's sarcasm: According to my readings, the corvette was destroyed in orbit, via it self-destruct mechanism.
Saganami: Well, we figured as much.
Gonick: Yep. I'll turn on the derb scoops, and call up the planetary capitol. I have some 'pull' with the governor.
Emma: No need. They're calling us.
Gonick: On-screen.
*the front viewscreen shimmers to life, revealing the image of a human male, who is grinning broadly*
Morranr: Gonick! You old pirate! How've you been!
Gonick, massaging forehead: I told you, I never touched those derbs! I'm not a pirate!
Morranr: Well, whatever you call yourself these days, I'm always glad to see you. What brings you to my humble little planet?
Gonick: A refugee.
Morranr: From the Care Bear Wars?
Gonick: No, older than that. *fills Morranr in on the details*
Morranr: Yes, we recorded that ship's detonation. Seemed odd at the time.
Gonick: If you could check your records for the rough time of the detonation, and see which ships left your space around that time, I'd owe you one.
Morranr: Hah! You mean you'd owe me one less!
Gonick: *massages forehead*
*about ten minutes later*
Morranr: I got that info you wanted. According to the logs, only three ships left the area. A private skiff, a recycler fleet, and a cruiser.
Gonick: Hmm. Recyclers are automated, so I doubt he left posing as derbs. What have you got on the skiff?
Morranr: Local rich kid out for a joyride. His parents specifically requested clearance.
Gonick: That leaves the cruiser. Did they file a flight plan?
Morranr: Damn straight. Nobody leaves Nausithous without one.
Gonick: May we have a copy?
Morranr: Sure! Here ya go.
Gonick: Got it. *skims the data on a nearby screen* Oh, not good.
Morranr, Emma, and Saganami in unison: What?
Gonick: His course. It leads straight towards his old shipyards.
Emma: We left those intact?!
Gonick: Seems it's not good to get cocky, even when you've caught the bad guy. Or, like, ever.
Saganami: We should call for re-enforcements. Guido always was good at shipbuilding.
Gonick: Agreed. Emma, if you would?
Emma: Sure, no problem. I'll just be over here, Uhura-ing.
Morranr: You can count on the support of the Agency, as well.
Gonick: That's good to hear, though I doubt we'll need THAT many ships. Even Guido is bound by the laws of physics.
Morranr: I'll make the preparations on this end. Morranr out.
Gonick: Now we wait. Oh, I just remembered. You'll love this.
*Gonick goes over to a cabinet set into one of the bulkheads, and withdraws a loaf of white bread, and hands Saganami a slice*
Gonick: Ok, hold this beside your head, and say 'toast'.
Saganami: I beg your pardon?
Gonick: Just do it.
Saganami, holding bread: Toast?
*nothing happens*
Gonick: Ok, now give me the slice.
*Saganami hands Gonick the slice of bread*
Gonick, holding bread: Toast!
*a laser beam shoots from an emitter array somewhere on the ceiling, and hits the bread. It crispens immediately*
Gonick: It only works for my voice.
Emma: OhmygodIwantone!
Gonick: You'll have to take that up with Marcus. He's banned them on the base, something about fire hazards.
Saganami: Well, when the fleet arrives, you'll have a chance. We ought to gather as much data as we can until then.
Gonick: Make it so.
Emma: *rolls eyes*
Audio Tour (Part 6)
Emma, loudly: Hey, Gonick!
Gonick, after jumping about three feet into the upper bulkhead: God damn, Emma! Don't sneak up on people like that! It's not nice....
Emma: Noted. So are we ready to go?
Gonick: Yes, everything seems to be ready. We'll depart at 0515.
Saganami: I understand we're not using the jump gate?
Gonick: That's right. In order to follow a trail, it's often counterproductive to take large jumps forwards.
Saganami: Makes sense. One other thing, though. Do we HAVE to have all of these androids around?
Gonick: Unless you have a better way to man a ship this size with three people, yes we do. What's the problem, anyways? They're not sentient, they barely have features.
Saganami, muttering: That IS the problem....
Emma: Get over it, Eddie. Hey, it's 0515.
Gonick: Ok. Here we go! Allons-y!
Emma, to Saganami: He gives commands in French?
Saganami, to Emma: He gives commands however he feels like. It is his ship, and his tweaks.
Emma: Even so... French?
Saganami: *shrug*
*about an hour or so later*
Gonick: The long range sensors have picked up the trail. It's actually quite short.
Saganami: Seems Guido's about as smart as we hive him credit for.
Gonick: Hmm, indeed. I almost wondered if he found our crumbs. Almost. Anyway, the trail would seem to lead to Nausithous.
Emma: I still can't figure out how you say that.
Gonick: It helps to gargle a bit while speaking. We'll be there in about an hour, so sit tight, and play Asteroids or something.
Saganami: Why am I not surprised that you programmed a video game database into this ship?
Gonick: Because you know me.
*one hour, five minutes, thirty five seconds, and several hundred asteroids later*
Gonick: Here we are! The planet Nausithous.
Emma: Great. Another ecumenopolis. Those never get old...
Gonick, ignoring Emma's sarcasm: According to my readings, the corvette was destroyed in orbit, via it self-destruct mechanism.
Saganami: Well, we figured as much.
Gonick: Yep. I'll turn on the derb scoops, and call up the planetary capitol. I have some 'pull' with the governor.
Emma: No need. They're calling us.
Gonick: On-screen.
*the front viewscreen shimmers to life, revealing the image of a human male, who is grinning broadly*
Morranr: Gonick! You old pirate! How've you been!
Gonick, massaging forehead: I told you, I never touched those derbs! I'm not a pirate!
Morranr: Well, whatever you call yourself these days, I'm always glad to see you. What brings you to my humble little planet?
Gonick: A refugee.
Morranr: From the Care Bear Wars?
Gonick: No, older than that. *fills Morranr in on the details*
Morranr: Yes, we recorded that ship's detonation. Seemed odd at the time.
Gonick: If you could check your records for the rough time of the detonation, and see which ships left your space around that time, I'd owe you one.
Morranr: Hah! You mean you'd owe me one less!
Gonick: *massages forehead*
*about ten minutes later*
Morranr: I got that info you wanted. According to the logs, only three ships left the area. A private skiff, a recycler fleet, and a cruiser.
Gonick: Hmm. Recyclers are automated, so I doubt he left posing as derbs. What have you got on the skiff?
Morranr: Local rich kid out for a joyride. His parents specifically requested clearance.
Gonick: That leaves the cruiser. Did they file a flight plan?
Morranr: Damn straight. Nobody leaves Nausithous without one.
Gonick: May we have a copy?
Morranr: Sure! Here ya go.
Gonick: Got it. *skims the data on a nearby screen* Oh, not good.
Morranr, Emma, and Saganami in unison: What?
Gonick: His course. It leads straight towards his old shipyards.
Emma: We left those intact?!
Gonick: Seems it's not good to get cocky, even when you've caught the bad guy. Or, like, ever.
Saganami: We should call for re-enforcements. Guido always was good at shipbuilding.
Gonick: Agreed. Emma, if you would?
Emma: Sure, no problem. I'll just be over here, Uhura-ing.
Morranr: You can count on the support of the Agency, as well.
Gonick: That's good to hear, though I doubt we'll need THAT many ships. Even Guido is bound by the laws of physics.
Morranr: I'll make the preparations on this end. Morranr out.
Gonick: Now we wait. Oh, I just remembered. You'll love this.
*Gonick goes over to a cabinet set into one of the bulkheads, and withdraws a loaf of white bread, and hands Saganami a slice*
Gonick: Ok, hold this beside your head, and say 'toast'.
Saganami: I beg your pardon?
Gonick: Just do it.
Saganami, holding bread: Toast?
*nothing happens*
Gonick: Ok, now give me the slice.
*Saganami hands Gonick the slice of bread*
Gonick, holding bread: Toast!
*a laser beam shoots from an emitter array somewhere on the ceiling, and hits the bread. It crispens immediately*
Gonick: It only works for my voice.
Emma: OhmygodIwantone!
Gonick: You'll have to take that up with Marcus. He's banned them on the base, something about fire hazards.
Saganami: Well, when the fleet arrives, you'll have a chance. We ought to gather as much data as we can until then.
Gonick: Make it so.
Emma: *rolls eyes*
Audio Tour (Part 6)
Part 5
*the scene opens in Gonick's quarters, where he is packing a large suitcase. A chime sounds at the door.*
Gonick: Who's there?
Emma, from outside: Who else?
Gonick: *sigh* Come in, Emma.
*the doors open with a classic *swoosh*, and Emma enters, carrying a small bag*
Emma: Eddie asked me to tell you that he'll be ready to go when the time comes.
Gonick: You know it drives him crazy when you call him that...
Emma: Well, duh. Why do you suppose I do it?
Gonick: *sigh* Well I'll be ready too. It's not like we're going far.
Emma: Not at first, anyways.
Gonick: Mmm. True. I hate packing.... I always bring too many knick knacks that end up being useless.
Emma: But we're going on your ship. Don't you have quarters on it?
Gonick: Yeah, but I don't keep them furnished all that well. It's not like I use it that much. I've got that cruiser for speedy jaunts, and I live on the station. I rarely spend time on board my battleship.
Emma: Well, aside from wartime.
Gonick: True, but after we captured Guido, I moved all of my stuff back here. Bad move, eh?
Emma: Turns out. Get some rest, we're leaving early tomorrow.
Gonick: Says you. I've got to do the preflight checks, and make sure some of my more 'intermittent' systems are fully functional.
Emma: Right. See you at 0500, then.
Gonick: See yas.
*Emma leaves, presumably to grab a smoke before turning in for the night*
Gonick, to self as he sets his alarm: Ugh, 0430. An ungodly hour for more or less anything.
*the lights automatically dim, and Gonick dozes off*
Audio Tour (Part 5)
Gonick: Who's there?
Emma, from outside: Who else?
Gonick: *sigh* Come in, Emma.
*the doors open with a classic *swoosh*, and Emma enters, carrying a small bag*
Emma: Eddie asked me to tell you that he'll be ready to go when the time comes.
Gonick: You know it drives him crazy when you call him that...
Emma: Well, duh. Why do you suppose I do it?
Gonick: *sigh* Well I'll be ready too. It's not like we're going far.
Emma: Not at first, anyways.
Gonick: Mmm. True. I hate packing.... I always bring too many knick knacks that end up being useless.
Emma: But we're going on your ship. Don't you have quarters on it?
Gonick: Yeah, but I don't keep them furnished all that well. It's not like I use it that much. I've got that cruiser for speedy jaunts, and I live on the station. I rarely spend time on board my battleship.
Emma: Well, aside from wartime.
Gonick: True, but after we captured Guido, I moved all of my stuff back here. Bad move, eh?
Emma: Turns out. Get some rest, we're leaving early tomorrow.
Gonick: Says you. I've got to do the preflight checks, and make sure some of my more 'intermittent' systems are fully functional.
Emma: Right. See you at 0500, then.
Gonick: See yas.
*Emma leaves, presumably to grab a smoke before turning in for the night*
Gonick, to self as he sets his alarm: Ugh, 0430. An ungodly hour for more or less anything.
*the lights automatically dim, and Gonick dozes off*
Audio Tour (Part 5)
Part 4
*the scene opens with a shot of the Meeting Room, which has a long table with high-backed chairs along its edge*
Marcus: Ok, people, we all know why we're here. Gonick says he has good news, so let's open with him.
Gonick: I do have good news, but I feel I should start with the bad. We all know that Mr. Guido has stolen a corvette and escaped our custody. However, the good news is that we can track him.
Dagobah: I thought corvettes were designed to not be detected.
Gonick: Well, they were. But seeing as we all have our flagships, and nobody uses the corvettes here anyway , I set up a sort of 'tracking mist'. As the corvette travels through space, it leaves a trail of minute energy particles.
Saganami: Bread crumbs.
Gonick: Nice catch, Hansel. Anyone not specifically looking for the particles should only read slightly elevated levels of background radiation. And since this was a relatively recent personal project, and therefore not officially documented, Guido's spies shouldn't have learned of it.
Marcus: I never authorized you to mess with our corvettes....
Gonick: Well as I often hear, it's easier to seek forgiveness than to ask permission. Especially since my 'messing' has given us a lead to Mr. Guido.
Emma: 'A lead'? It sounds like you gave us a map to his exact location.
Dagobah: Guido is smart enough to not stay in one of our ships for very long. He's probably already ditched it, blown it up, and found another means of transportation. But the plus side is, he'd have to use our corvette to get to another planet.
Marcus: Which means Gonick's bread crumbs will lead us to Guido's last known location. Gonick, take your battleship and follow the trail. Emma, Saganami, go with him.
Saganami: A battleship? Isn't that a bit slow?
Gonick: He didn't say 'a' battleship. He said 'my' battleship.
*Edward Saganami regards Gonick quizzically*
Gonick: You'll see. Pack some stuff, we'll most likely be a week or two.
Emma: Great. A road trip.
Mick: What's a road?
All: ....
Marcus: Dismissed.
Audio Tour (Part 4)
Marcus: Ok, people, we all know why we're here. Gonick says he has good news, so let's open with him.
Gonick: I do have good news, but I feel I should start with the bad. We all know that Mr. Guido has stolen a corvette and escaped our custody. However, the good news is that we can track him.
Dagobah: I thought corvettes were designed to not be detected.
Gonick: Well, they were. But seeing as we all have our flagships, and nobody uses the corvettes here anyway , I set up a sort of 'tracking mist'. As the corvette travels through space, it leaves a trail of minute energy particles.
Saganami: Bread crumbs.
Gonick: Nice catch, Hansel. Anyone not specifically looking for the particles should only read slightly elevated levels of background radiation. And since this was a relatively recent personal project, and therefore not officially documented, Guido's spies shouldn't have learned of it.
Marcus: I never authorized you to mess with our corvettes....
Gonick: Well as I often hear, it's easier to seek forgiveness than to ask permission. Especially since my 'messing' has given us a lead to Mr. Guido.
Emma: 'A lead'? It sounds like you gave us a map to his exact location.
Dagobah: Guido is smart enough to not stay in one of our ships for very long. He's probably already ditched it, blown it up, and found another means of transportation. But the plus side is, he'd have to use our corvette to get to another planet.
Marcus: Which means Gonick's bread crumbs will lead us to Guido's last known location. Gonick, take your battleship and follow the trail. Emma, Saganami, go with him.
Saganami: A battleship? Isn't that a bit slow?
Gonick: He didn't say 'a' battleship. He said 'my' battleship.
*Edward Saganami regards Gonick quizzically*
Gonick: You'll see. Pack some stuff, we'll most likely be a week or two.
Emma: Great. A road trip.
Mick: What's a road?
All: ....
Marcus: Dismissed.
Audio Tour (Part 4)
Part 3
*the officers have split up into two-man teams, each with a specific duty*
Marcus: Ok, Dagobah. You take the left corridor, I'll take the right, and we'll meet in the middle.
Dagobah: Right. Why did we get stuck with the running?
Marcus: Because I wanted to catch the bastard myself. Now go!
Dagobah: I'll try to stun him if I see him.
*cut to Gonick at a workstation, with Saganami at the door*
Gonick: Here, take my lasgun. You may want the extra 'pew pew pew', and I prefer the pulsers, anyway.
Saganami: Right... So, how's it going with the tracking?
Gonick: Guido seems to be invisible to our internal sensors. I gotta wonder why the bad guys can always do-
Saganami: Deconstruct the logistical fallacies of our base later. Try the infrared sensors.
Gonick: Yeah, that always works, too. Sheesh. Anyway, everyone is in groups, so the only solo signal should be... aha! Oh crap....
*cut to Emma and Mad Mick, who are also chasing, but in a different section*
Emma: Hurry up, Aussieboy! You really ought to do more cardio.
Mick: Yeah, and you shouldn't eat so much Ben and Jerry's...
Emma, looking back at Mick: What was that?
Mick, hurriedly: Nothing. Hey, what's that sound?
Emma: It's coming from the hangar. It's the stellar drive of one of our corvettes!
Mick: It's Guido! Hurry!
*Mick and Emma burst into the hangar bay, just as the corvette is taking off. Mick squeezes off a few laser bursts, but this doesn't slow the craft down.*
Emma: DAMN! *throws knife into the far wall, where it sticks with a wobble* You are [i]so[/i[ explaining this to Marcus.
Mick: Me? But- *realizes the foolishness of anything but complete agreement with Emma at this time* Right, um, going. *dashes out*
*cut back to Gonick and Saganami*
Saganami: He took a corvette? But those are code-locked!
Gonick: It would seem we underestimated his intelligence network. And after his capture, it seemed unnecessary to change the codes anyway.
Saganami: I'd avoid the boss until we have good news of [i]any[/i] kind.
Gonick: Let's go see him, then.
*Edward Saganami gives Gonick a sideways look, but follows him out the door anyway*
Audio Tour (Part 3)
Marcus: Ok, Dagobah. You take the left corridor, I'll take the right, and we'll meet in the middle.
Dagobah: Right. Why did we get stuck with the running?
Marcus: Because I wanted to catch the bastard myself. Now go!
Dagobah: I'll try to stun him if I see him.
*cut to Gonick at a workstation, with Saganami at the door*
Gonick: Here, take my lasgun. You may want the extra 'pew pew pew', and I prefer the pulsers, anyway.
Saganami: Right... So, how's it going with the tracking?
Gonick: Guido seems to be invisible to our internal sensors. I gotta wonder why the bad guys can always do-
Saganami: Deconstruct the logistical fallacies of our base later. Try the infrared sensors.
Gonick: Yeah, that always works, too. Sheesh. Anyway, everyone is in groups, so the only solo signal should be... aha! Oh crap....
*cut to Emma and Mad Mick, who are also chasing, but in a different section*
Emma: Hurry up, Aussieboy! You really ought to do more cardio.
Mick: Yeah, and you shouldn't eat so much Ben and Jerry's...
Emma, looking back at Mick: What was that?
Mick, hurriedly: Nothing. Hey, what's that sound?
Emma: It's coming from the hangar. It's the stellar drive of one of our corvettes!
Mick: It's Guido! Hurry!
*Mick and Emma burst into the hangar bay, just as the corvette is taking off. Mick squeezes off a few laser bursts, but this doesn't slow the craft down.*
Emma: DAMN! *throws knife into the far wall, where it sticks with a wobble* You are [i]so[/i[ explaining this to Marcus.
Mick: Me? But- *realizes the foolishness of anything but complete agreement with Emma at this time* Right, um, going. *dashes out*
*cut back to Gonick and Saganami*
Saganami: He took a corvette? But those are code-locked!
Gonick: It would seem we underestimated his intelligence network. And after his capture, it seemed unnecessary to change the codes anyway.
Saganami: I'd avoid the boss until we have good news of [i]any[/i] kind.
Gonick: Let's go see him, then.
*Edward Saganami gives Gonick a sideways look, but follows him out the door anyway*
Audio Tour (Part 3)
Part 2
Marcus: Well, he was a perpetual pain in our collective rears. Anyone for Chinese?
Gonick: Sure, just don't have it delivered. It's always cold by the time it gets here. And get extra egg rolls. We never have enough.
*everyone files out of the room, through a door that is concealed as part of the wall. Mr. Guido opens the hatch of the oubliette, and climbs out*
Guido: Ugh... I don't think they ever clean down there. Now, where's the door?
*scene ends*
*later, in the common room*
Gonick, through egg noodles: So, what now? Our aggressive enemies are at bay for the time being, so what say we go on the offensive? Go back to my Revanchism?
Emma, after finishing a bit of broccoli: Well with our defensive war over, it'd be nice to avoid simming.
Marcus, over egg fu young: Alright, scout out some potential targets. Make sure they're about our level, fair fights are always more fun.
Gonick: Plus, we can always recruit them after we kick their asses. That always works.
*at that point, in the interrogation room*
Guido: Ah, there it is. And there's the latch!
*back in the commons*
Saganami: Yeah, remember when the word 'Crit' was basically an expletive? That-
*a loud klaxon sounds, and red lights go off*
Dagobah: What? That's the Interrogation room! Guido. Trainees! After him!
Gonick: Did we really have to contract our base construction to 'Overdone Cliches Incorporated'?
Marcus: Yes. Now find Guido. He's to dangerous to be left alive, and if he escapes, we are royally screwed!
Emma: Here, take these lasguns.
Gonick, taking a lasgun: That's another thing. Do we need a weapons locker in every room?
Emma: Obviously.
Gonick: Point taken.
Marcus: Ok, fan out! Take Guido, and kill him.
Dagobah: Emma, aren't you taking a pistol?
Emma, with a chilling glint in her eye: No, I'm good.
Gonick: And why does Emma shop at Klingon Cutlery?! We have prisoners, like never!
Emma: Because they're even better then those knives they advertise on TV?
Gonick, with a resigned sigh: Ok, whatever. Guido can't have gone far. Allons-y!
Audio Tour (Part 2)
Gonick: Sure, just don't have it delivered. It's always cold by the time it gets here. And get extra egg rolls. We never have enough.
*everyone files out of the room, through a door that is concealed as part of the wall. Mr. Guido opens the hatch of the oubliette, and climbs out*
Guido: Ugh... I don't think they ever clean down there. Now, where's the door?
*scene ends*
*later, in the common room*
Gonick, through egg noodles: So, what now? Our aggressive enemies are at bay for the time being, so what say we go on the offensive? Go back to my Revanchism?
Emma, after finishing a bit of broccoli: Well with our defensive war over, it'd be nice to avoid simming.
Marcus, over egg fu young: Alright, scout out some potential targets. Make sure they're about our level, fair fights are always more fun.
Gonick: Plus, we can always recruit them after we kick their asses. That always works.
*at that point, in the interrogation room*
Guido: Ah, there it is. And there's the latch!
*back in the commons*
Saganami: Yeah, remember when the word 'Crit' was basically an expletive? That-
*a loud klaxon sounds, and red lights go off*
Dagobah: What? That's the Interrogation room! Guido. Trainees! After him!
Gonick: Did we really have to contract our base construction to 'Overdone Cliches Incorporated'?
Marcus: Yes. Now find Guido. He's to dangerous to be left alive, and if he escapes, we are royally screwed!
Emma: Here, take these lasguns.
Gonick, taking a lasgun: That's another thing. Do we need a weapons locker in every room?
Emma: Obviously.
Gonick: Point taken.
Marcus: Ok, fan out! Take Guido, and kill him.
Dagobah: Emma, aren't you taking a pistol?
Emma, with a chilling glint in her eye: No, I'm good.
Gonick: And why does Emma shop at Klingon Cutlery?! We have prisoners, like never!
Emma: Because they're even better then those knives they advertise on TV?
Gonick, with a resigned sigh: Ok, whatever. Guido can't have gone far. Allons-y!
Audio Tour (Part 2)
Part 1
*in a small, cramped room, lit only by a cliche lightbulb hanging by an even more cliche cord, Mr. Guido sits in a chair. Several figures are in the periphery, but keep to the shadows. One steps out. It is Gonick.*
Gonick: Surely you know why you are here, Mr. Guido.
Guido: Yeah. I'm here because I lost.
Gonick: Indeed. But you seem to be under a mistaken impression. You did not lose when you were captured. Nor when your fleets were destroyed. You lost when you decided to attack us.
*Gonick returns to the shadows, Edward Saganami steps out*
Saganami: You were far too greedy. With all of the plundering, children on our homeworlds would go for days without lime flavored Tostitos. They had to make do with regular. And for that, you should burn.
Guido: Surely you don't expect me to know of your internal memes?!
*Saganami returns to the edges, Princess Emma steps out, but says nothing. The rather unique looking multi-pronged blade's glinting says more than words ever could*
Guido: *gulp*
*To Mr. Guido's relief, she is soon replaced by Dagobah.*
Dagobah: You have been charged with high crimes against the Neo Timberwolves. A special tribunal has found you guilty, and the sentence is yet to be determined. I've heard they're planning something 'special' for you.
*Dagobah is joined by Emperor Marcus*
Marcus: Your ships were powerful, indeed. But you lacked in basic strategy. You became the bear to our proverbial wolfpack. If you recall the math, you will see where you erred.
Guido: Do you expect me to play the human battle calculator for you?
Marcus: No, Mr. Guido. We expect you to die.
*An oubliette opens beneath Guido's chair, and both it and him fall in. After a period of silence, a splash is heard from below.*
Dagobah, to the hole: And don't call him Shirley.
Audio Tour (Part 1)
Gonick: Surely you know why you are here, Mr. Guido.
Guido: Yeah. I'm here because I lost.
Gonick: Indeed. But you seem to be under a mistaken impression. You did not lose when you were captured. Nor when your fleets were destroyed. You lost when you decided to attack us.
*Gonick returns to the shadows, Edward Saganami steps out*
Saganami: You were far too greedy. With all of the plundering, children on our homeworlds would go for days without lime flavored Tostitos. They had to make do with regular. And for that, you should burn.
Guido: Surely you don't expect me to know of your internal memes?!
*Saganami returns to the edges, Princess Emma steps out, but says nothing. The rather unique looking multi-pronged blade's glinting says more than words ever could*
Guido: *gulp*
*To Mr. Guido's relief, she is soon replaced by Dagobah.*
Dagobah: You have been charged with high crimes against the Neo Timberwolves. A special tribunal has found you guilty, and the sentence is yet to be determined. I've heard they're planning something 'special' for you.
*Dagobah is joined by Emperor Marcus*
Marcus: Your ships were powerful, indeed. But you lacked in basic strategy. You became the bear to our proverbial wolfpack. If you recall the math, you will see where you erred.
Guido: Do you expect me to play the human battle calculator for you?
Marcus: No, Mr. Guido. We expect you to die.
*An oubliette opens beneath Guido's chair, and both it and him fall in. After a period of silence, a splash is heard from below.*
Dagobah, to the hole: And don't call him Shirley.
Audio Tour (Part 1)
Greetings and Salutations
About now, in a galaxy far, far away...
*cue fanfare and text crawl*
NEO TIMBERWOLVES
IT IS A TIME OF GREAT CONFLICT. THE CARE BEAR COALITION BRAVELY SEEKS TO DEFEND THE LOWER GALAXIES FROM THE MERCILESS INVASION OF THE OLD GUARD GUILDS, WHO HAVE FEAR AS THEIR FOREGUARD, AND UTTER RUIN AND DERBS THEIR WAKE. WELL, IT WAS. THIS IS A BIT AFTER THAT.
ANYDOODLES, WHERE WAS I? OH YES.
HAVING GROUND THE OLD GUARD'S INVASION TO A HALT, THE MEMBERS OF THE CARE BEAR COALITION RETURNED HOME. THOUGH SOME HAD NO HOME TO RETURN TO, THEIR PREVIOUS HOMES HAVING BEEN RAVAGED BY WAR. SOME GUILDS TOOK IN THESE LOST SOULS. ONE SUCH GUILD WAS THE NEO TIMBERWOLVES. THE TIMBERWOLVES, HAVING REGAINED INTEREST IN OLD PROJECTS WITH THE DECLINING SERIOUSNESS OF THE INVASION, ONE AGAIN SOUGHT TO DEFEAT AND/OR CAPTURE AN OLD ADVERSARY KNOWN ONLY AS MR. GUIDO. HAVING TRACKED HIS SHIP TO A REMOTE PART OF THE SECTOR, THEY CUNNINGLY LED HIM INTO AN AMBUSH, WHERE HE WAS CAPTURED.
HE WAS TRANSPORTED UNDER FULL SECURITY TO THE TIMBERWOLVES' REMOTE SANCTUARY, WHERE HE IS TO BE PUT TO DEATH FOR CRIMES AGAINST TNT. AS THE HIGH COUNCIL OF THE WOLVES APPROACHES HIS CELL, THE MOVIE BEGINS.
WAIT, THAT WAS THE FOURTH WALL. DAMMIT, I USUALLY JUST POKE THAT AND GIGGLE. ANYWAY, ENJOY THE SHOW, AND TRY NOT TO EAT TOO MANY MILK DUDS. THEY'LL ROT YOUR TEETH.
*cue fanfare and text crawl*
NEO TIMBERWOLVES
IT IS A TIME OF GREAT CONFLICT. THE CARE BEAR COALITION BRAVELY SEEKS TO DEFEND THE LOWER GALAXIES FROM THE MERCILESS INVASION OF THE OLD GUARD GUILDS, WHO HAVE FEAR AS THEIR FOREGUARD, AND UTTER RUIN AND DERBS THEIR WAKE. WELL, IT WAS. THIS IS A BIT AFTER THAT.
ANYDOODLES, WHERE WAS I? OH YES.
HAVING GROUND THE OLD GUARD'S INVASION TO A HALT, THE MEMBERS OF THE CARE BEAR COALITION RETURNED HOME. THOUGH SOME HAD NO HOME TO RETURN TO, THEIR PREVIOUS HOMES HAVING BEEN RAVAGED BY WAR. SOME GUILDS TOOK IN THESE LOST SOULS. ONE SUCH GUILD WAS THE NEO TIMBERWOLVES. THE TIMBERWOLVES, HAVING REGAINED INTEREST IN OLD PROJECTS WITH THE DECLINING SERIOUSNESS OF THE INVASION, ONE AGAIN SOUGHT TO DEFEAT AND/OR CAPTURE AN OLD ADVERSARY KNOWN ONLY AS MR. GUIDO. HAVING TRACKED HIS SHIP TO A REMOTE PART OF THE SECTOR, THEY CUNNINGLY LED HIM INTO AN AMBUSH, WHERE HE WAS CAPTURED.
HE WAS TRANSPORTED UNDER FULL SECURITY TO THE TIMBERWOLVES' REMOTE SANCTUARY, WHERE HE IS TO BE PUT TO DEATH FOR CRIMES AGAINST TNT. AS THE HIGH COUNCIL OF THE WOLVES APPROACHES HIS CELL, THE MOVIE BEGINS.
WAIT, THAT WAS THE FOURTH WALL. DAMMIT, I USUALLY JUST POKE THAT AND GIGGLE. ANYWAY, ENJOY THE SHOW, AND TRY NOT TO EAT TOO MANY MILK DUDS. THEY'LL ROT YOUR TEETH.
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